I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
