So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
