he puts the penis in happiness.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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