So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
