so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
