dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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