Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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