dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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