Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
