Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
not ubering you a puppy
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
