Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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