Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
