Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
