the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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