So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
