sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
