Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Pooping to opera.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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