I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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