i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
