Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Randomize
