garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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