Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
