Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
