Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
