the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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