He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
