honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
