ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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