I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
