i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
im on a boat
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