it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
