alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
