Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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