I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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