The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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