she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
