i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
