Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The air was thick with penises
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
