guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
