the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize