so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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