I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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