my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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