she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
