Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
