i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we should paint friendship bongs
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
