I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
