Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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