i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
should my penis look like a turkey
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
