Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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