Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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