why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
