ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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