Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
